On the way home this car hears my confessions

sam3_old_story @ 2008-12-20T19:33:00

2008-12-21T00:35:30Z

Did you ever just have a lot to say but no one to say it all to?

I'm having one those moments.

I have a lot to say but no one to say it to.

Fuck.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-12-10T00:11:00

2008-12-10T05:13:25Z

I was wrong.

Hope is one of the worst things a person can have.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-12-06T09:29:00

2008-12-06T14:41:03Z

Has anyone else ever noticed that whenever you decide to give up on something the universe comes along with a big pile of hope and says, "have some it tastes great."

The universe has done that to me this week and you know what, hope tastes delicious.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
-Andy Dufresne, "The Shawshank Redemption"

sam3_old_story @ 2008-12-01T20:07:00

2008-12-02T01:11:30Z

White Flag

I've said it before
Now I'll say it again
I surrender
It was an uphill struggle
With little chance of victory
So I'll raise my white flag
Before I'm in too deep
While I can still walk away
So maybe I live
To fight another day.

Resignation is a beautifully cruel thing.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-11-24T19:22:00

2008-11-25T00:28:48Z

I can't believe it's been almost six months since I posted anything here, though I doubt anyone missed me. The saddest part is that I have nothing new to report. New poem though and I'll assume you can all figure out what it means. Peace.

The Fool

I can't believe it
I've gone and done it again
Fallen hard for something
That I can never have
And will never happen
Everyone around said no
Everything inside said stop
But I didn't listen
I never do
It just keeps happening
And it always turns out the same
A few brief moments
Of something resembling joy
Followed by a vicious cycle
Of my three old friends
Cigarettes, whiskey and sad songs
Just once I'll listen to everyone
For that matter, listen to myself
But for now I'll do this all once more
Trade in my logic for blind optimism
And play my old, familiar role
As the hopeful fool
Destined to end up
With a broken heart.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-05-07T13:39:00

2008-05-07T17:41:02Z

Ghost
Tonight I learned, in painful detail
What it feels like to be a ghost
It only took a second, maybe even less
Like a star eclipsed by a moon
I was there
And then I was gone
And there wasn't a thing I could do about it
Nothing I could have done
Nothing I could have said
Would have made you see me
So I'll just shake my head
Lie and say it's for the best
As I fade into the background
Nonexistent, just another ghost.

This goes with last night's post. One day I want to be the brightest star.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-04-12T19:50:00

2008-04-12T23:54:46Z

Today was such a gorgeous day and where was I? I was inside sick.

I fucking hate being sick. And this week of all weeks. I have so much work to do but I can only stop coughing for more than five minutes if I'm doped off my ass on codeine cough syrup (which tastes like crap by the way). Fuck.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-02-24T20:26:00

2008-02-25T01:28:01Z

God I love having writer's block. It's so much fucking fun.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-02-10T19:22:00

2008-02-11T00:44:22Z

I love when things go to hell in a bucket. It's just so much fucking fun.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-02-03T22:33:00

2008-02-04T03:39:58Z

I don't care what anyone says, Eli Manning IS NOT, I repeat NOT, the second coming of Joe Namath. There will only ever be one Joe Namath, and he played for my beloved New York Jets.

And another thing, Super Bowl III is the greatest Super Bowl ever played. The Jets beating the Colts will always have more significance to NFL history than the Giants getting lucky and beating the Patriots.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-01-29T19:42:00

2008-01-30T01:01:12Z

So yeah it's been almost a month since I posted last, why not do an update.

School started, woo-fucking-hoo. I've had two different professors tell the class that it's ok if we don't well because after all it's only community college. That really pisses me off, not sure why but it does.

I turned 25 and almost no one noticed. Thanks to those few who did for well wishes.

I'm really fucking tired of hearing about the Giants. I get it they're playing in the super bowl. Next.

I haven't been able to write at all lately, which sucks pretty hard. Though I'm sure all the Valentine's Day shit that's about to start will change that.

I feel really disconnected lately, I can be sitting in a room full of people and still I feel like I don't belong there but I won't get all existential. I will say that I miss people and feel like a bad friend because I don't call or email. (Though it would be nice if someone could call me once in a while. Would it kill them?)

And that's about it, nothing else new to report. Peace all.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-01-17T09:18:00

2008-01-17T14:21:37Z

So, like it does every year, January 17th has come. Happy fucking birthday to me.

Did anyone remember?
Does anyone even care?
I believe the answer is no.

sam3_old_story @ 2008-01-01T00:10:00

2008-01-01T05:12:24Z

Happy Fucking New Year.

Here's to a whole 'nother year to fuck up.

Another Year Gone...

2007-12-31T15:54:46Z

So I'm going to guess that most of you haven't noticed that I haven't posted here in almost two months. I just haven't had much to say and well nothing has really happened to me lately. But anyway I think it might be time for a year in review type of thing, and why not everyone else seems to be doing them. What can I say about this year.

Did anything good happen? Surprisingly, yeah some good things did happen, not many, but some. I managed to get rid of one of my biggest vices, World of Warcraft. I managed to quit smoking for two whole weeks, so I know I can do it. I think I finally might have found my niche in journalism, sucks that I'm back in college but it's better than staring at a computer screen while locked in a cubicle.

And then there's the bad stuff. I'm not going to talk about most of the bad stuff, why bother. I know what was bad this year. Heartbreak, emoness, scars, tears, I know what they all were. It's just not worth dragging it all up.

And that's it for me. Here's hoping to 2008 is better than 2007. May we all find happiness, may we all find love, may we all find a little bit of peace. So Happy New Year, good luck, amen.

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And its been a long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean..I guess I should.
-A Long December-Counting Crows

sam3_old_story @ 2007-12-25T00:26:00

2007-12-25T05:27:23Z

Merry Fucking Christmas.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-10-31T19:16:00

2007-10-31T23:18:12Z

New Rule: If you are over 20, you don't get candy. I don't care if you are dressed up.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-10-10T12:27:00

2007-10-10T16:29:42Z

I went to see Bruce Springsteen last night.

IT FUCKING ROCKED.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-10-01T14:44:00

2007-10-01T18:49:54Z

A new poem for October is behind the cut. Enjoy or don't.

October

It will never cease to amaze me
How much a cool night
Especially in mid-October
Can bring out all the things
You managed to suppress
The rest of the year
Sure, you paid them some thought
In the fading summer days of August
And they started to weigh a bit more
As you walked through September's transitions
But for some reason
They all start to hurt
When the sun sets early
And the leaves are falling
On chilly October nights
You can't put your finger
On exactly what it is
It could be anything
A lack of purpose in your life
Or the missing touch of a lover
Or maybe something else entirely
But you feel it
And it burns you
Somewhere deep inside
You'll try to fight it
You'll smoke your cigarettes
Because they help calm your nerves
And you'll drink your third glass of scotch
Because no one is there
To tell you not to
But anything you do
Is just a vain attempt
To numb senses for a while
At least long enough for you to feel
Almost alive again
But none of what you do
Will matter at all
What's missing will still be missing
When the numbness wears off
And you'll still be standing
Right where you are
Alone and listless
As the chill of Autumn
Passes into the bleak gray
Of Winter's cold grasp.

I hate October.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-09-30T17:08:00

2007-09-30T21:11:00Z

The Mets just completed the biggest collapse in baseball history.
The Jets are 1 and 3
And Notre Dame is 0 and 5.

Yep.

Talk Like a Pirate Day...

2007-09-19T15:32:50Z

Avast me hearties! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day! What arrrr you doin to mark the occasion?

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Jack Sparrow Approves.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-09-18T14:51:00

2007-09-18T18:54:58Z

Do you ever get the feeling that you might be happier if you were stupid? I only ask because I went to school today and all around me were literally hundreds and hundreds of dumbasses. And I really thought maybe I'd be happier if I were completely ignorant and stupid. Don't get me wrong I'd probably still be miserable, but I'd be too dumb to care.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-09-13T15:22:00

2007-09-13T19:24:45Z

The cuteness will overwhelm you.

Who says we can't get along?

sam3_old_story @ 2007-08-27T18:46:00

2007-08-27T22:55:56Z

Random things irritating me right now:

Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's-Nice song, simple, solid piece of pop music. However if I hear it one more time I'm going to murder someone.

YouTube-It's the downfall of western civilization. Just because you can put a ten minute video of yourself playing with your ears on the internet, doesn't mean you should.

I have a cavity I could park a truck in, but I can't go to the dentist cuz I have no insurance.

The price of beer is going up thanks to the price of gasoline. And also a new tax from the state. You're already taxing me to death on cigarettes, now you're doing it to booze. Why can't I just have one cheap, bad habit? Stop trying to save me form myself.

My favorite pen ran out of ink, and they don't make that brand anymore. Fuck.

Writer's block.I keep writing but it's all just crap and bullshit. Double fuck.

I think that's all for now. One more fuck for good measure, Fuck.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-08-20T18:47:00

2007-08-20T23:05:27Z

1) What's Your First Name?
Frank

2) List Your Nicknames?:
No called me by a nickname in a long time, though friends used to call me Bones, and teachers in high school used to call me the Doctor.

3) Every Group Of Friends Has A Hot Spot In A Parking Lot Where Is Yours?
I don't have one anymore.

4) Very Late Night Munchies 24hr White Castle Or 24hr Taco bell?:
Neither, I'll find a diner.

5) What's Your Favorite Diner In Jersey?:
Tick Tock.

6) Your Favorite Food From That Diner?:
Disco Fries

7) Ever seen FDR?
huh?

8) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robins?
Nothing like Dunkin Donuts after you've been drinking all night.

9) Best Mall To Go To in Jersey?
I hate malls.

10) Best Beach in jersey?
Beach Haven, though Cape May is really nice too.

11) The Most Tasty Slice Of Pizza You Ever Tasted Is From?
The best pizza comes from Brooklyn.

12) You Hear The Town Woodbridge What Is The First Thing(s) You think of?
I've driven through it.

13) You Hear The Town Sea Bright What Is The First Thing(s) You think of?
I've driven past it.

14) You Hear The Town Long Branch What Is The First Thing(s) You Think Of?
See answer to #13

15) You Hear The Town Old Bridge What Is The First Thing(s) You Think Of?
See answer to #12

16) Six Flags or Beach?:
Depends.

17) Have You Ever Been Up Close To A Lighthouse?:
Yes.

18) What's Your Favorite Bruce Springsteen Song?
I can't pick one so here's my top 5:
Backstreets
I'm on Fire
Streets of Fire
Darkness on the Edge of Town
Growing Up

19) How Many 711's Are In Your Town?:
None, which both shocks and depresses me.

20) Have You Ever Rode From Newton To Cape May?
I'd rather die.

21) Garden State Parkway or Back Roads?:
When gas was cheap back roads, now the parkway is fine.

22) GSP or Turnpike?:
GSP, The Turnpike is hell on earth.

23) Up North Or Going South?:
North.

24) Ever Go To The City For No Reason?:
All the time.

25) Sea Side & Ocean or Back Yard & Pool?
Ocean.

26) Have You Ever Seen Clinton Road?
Which one?

27) Best Romantic Spot in Jersey?
There are places in Sussex county, away from all the noise and lights, that on a clear night you can see literally thousands of stars. Which is pretty damn romantic if you ask me.

28) Do You See Your Self Living And Starting A Family In Jersey?
I don't think my attitude would fly too many other places so yeah I could definitely see myself living here. Starting a family, well that's a completely different story.

29.)First thing(s) to come to mind when you hear Newark?
The Airport

30.)First thing (s) to come to mind when you hear Irvington?
Crack.

31.)First thing (s) to come to mind when you hear Belmar?
Bars.

32.)First thing(s) to come to mind when you hear Atlantic City?
The fortune I've lost at Caesar's Palace.

33.) Max speed you have driven on the Pulaski Skyway?
Never been on that particular stretch of highway.

You'll probably only understand this if you're from Jersey.

sam3_old_story @ 2007-08-17T23:24:00

2007-08-18T03:28:57Z

Drunk.
Depressed.
Lonely.
Running out of booze.
Only 2 cigarettes left.
Yep having a great night.

When all that we need is just a reaction,
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore.
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction,
I'll want to remember when I know that I can't go back.

So just ask the question, come untie the knot.
Say you won't care.
Retrace the steps as if we forgot.
Say you won't care.
Try to avoid it, (Try to aviod it.)
But there's not a doubt.
And there's one thing I can do nothing...
There's one thing I can do nothing...
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
-New American Classic-Taking Back Sunday